International Mens' Day
In celebration of International Men's’ Day, My lovely wife asked what issues males face which people should be aware of. For this article I will be using the word man to refer to an adult human male.
The question of what issues matter to men should be answered by men, and each man, whichever issues he faces, those of importance to him, those are a man’s issues of importance. Collectively, those issues would be mens’ issues. Generally speaking, it is not for any one man to say what the most important issue is to men, only to him. Keeping in that spirit, I will share what I find to be some things that I think about. The question of what issues I think are most important for people to be aware of aren’t necessarily those that will benefit me a very great deal, but I think will help those men for whom a little bit of help would make a big difference in our world; those men who have been forgotten.
Firstly, I have observed that men's contributions are somehow both undervalued and overstated. People seem to think men have all the power in society, but the work that is actually done by many men (garbage removal, construction, mining, oil rigging) is not only extremely dangerous and shitty, but valued as a lower way of living. Also, when I became a father, I experienced what I call the invisible father effect, that being that a father who is doing what he is supposed to be doing i.e. taking care of his woman and offspring, goes unmentioned. This ignoring / depreciation of men’s contributions to society can only have negative outcomes.
Being undervalued, forgotten, silently contributing their labour and skills and then going home to an apartment alone, and getting slagged online and hearing people mock simps and incels, many men medicate. The belief that men hold all the power must lead people to believe that men aren't in need of help when many are, and that all men are strong. Those men who are in need of help don't know where to turn. Further, the belief that men never need help, and all men are in the privileged class in society, and that everyone needs a hand to be equal to, specifically, white men, is outrageous, and based in a sexist, racist belief that actually situates these men in a superior position above all others. Either we are all equal, or we aren’t. I tend to think that we actually aren’t but that men and women of working class have more in common with one another than most men have with men who actually hold positions of power.
All of my beliefs on Mens’ issues sort of coalesce into what I call the Assault on masculinity. This is a tough one to flesh out but I'll try, and I’m certainly not saying that everyone holds any of these views, but men were sort of generally asked what some issues were we were having, so I thought I’d write a couple down, it being men’s day and all. There are a lot of people that I know who appreciate fully what role men and masculinity plays in our lives, and I notice, and I love you for it.
Back to the attack on masculinity though, this is a thing for sure, and it’s kinda fucked up and I’m scared for the young little boys who are just typical little boys, and young men who are coming into their bodies, and all those hormones are coursing through their veins, and their brains aren’t fully developed, and we pretend that masculinity isn’t even really a thing biologically, and it’s all learned, so these young men grow up not learning how to deal with things like white hot rage, or lust, or the deep dangerous side of being a man, because we like to pretend that we’re all touchy feely, sensitive, completely fucking harmless pseudo-men. I have feelings and love being sensitive. I am also dangerous. I am fully aware of this and have developed tools to cope with the danger that is man. Are you a little scared of me? Good, you should be. Men are scary.
I think there's something called masculine - a category which describes a set of characteristics. A healthy society has a balance of a prescriptive gender role, defining healthy masculinity, and of flexibility, allowing for variation and as a result: growth. Masculinity, therefore, is those archetypal characteristics associated with the masculine, male, manly essence. Anything can be masculine. This shouldn’t have to be explained, and I know you know what I mean, but it’s important - some masculine traits seem to be positive, others negative, of course this is always culturally and temporally dependent.. The attack on masculinity is an attack on all characteristics of masculinity as a result of the negative effects of some in this time and place, or in the recent past.
Celebrate a man. It’s not always easy, there’s some really shitty men out there; but, I guess my point is that, maybe if men and our contributions were appreciated just a little bit more, once in a while, maybe some men would be a little less shitty, and our world could be a little less shitty of a place. To be honest, I think what we’ve got going on here is pretty good. It’s a bit of a struggle sometimes, but we get by.
Here’s to the men that keep the heat going, that keep the roads cleared, that keep the garbage hidden away, that drive the trucks, and pull the oil that we need from the ground, and cut down the trees, then mill the wood, then haul the lumber to the site and build our homes and businesses, here’s to the men that clean the most disgusting shit you can’t even possibly imagine, and do it for no thanks and little pay, here’s to the men who take care of their families, who pay the bills. Here’s to the forgotten men who keep the lights on, and patrol our streets to keep our families safe. Here’s to every man who adds something to his society by whatever means he has, because it’s what we do. Here’s to every single man on the planet.
